The Hobbit

Whoa, I knew he was short, but Holy Hell! I met him at Mercadito, which is this really good Mexican spot in the East village. I was sooo happy with my food, but was less than impressed with this guy’s need to over compensate for his lack of height by using excessive profanity and trying to look cool by talking with his hands. WTF, your not italian or latino. I didn’t say that out loud, but I was thinking it. He was so small that he couldn’t even finish his burrito, which in my opinion makes him a pussy. How could anyone respect someone like that? I could have finished that in like 10 minutes depending on how much I was starving. He also has a sleeve of tattoos on his scrawny arms and didn’t dress well. He had nice teeth though and was nice. After lunch, I REALLY wanted coffee, but this place, to my surprise ONLY had disgusting American coffee. So I suggested that we go to cocoa bar in the Lower East Side. So we start to walk over there ( meanwhile people were staring at us because I was SO much taller than him). When we got there, the place wasn’t open. Guess they decided to celebrate Labor day, but Hello, people STILL need their coffee and chocolate fixes. Whatever,, so he whips out his new iphone and tries to find an alternative place. He failed at that. Still not impressed. So after about 30 minutes, I was getting too hot and growing increasingly annoyed with this short man, and told him I was going home. I didn’t want him to walk me there because I wanted to make phone calls on my cell phone and talk shit about him to my friends, but he just followed me. The funny part was when we said goodbye at my front steps, he tried to kiss my cheek but missed, and kissed the “air”…So lame…NEXT!

Wardrobe:
Dark skinny jeans, backless blouse, grey suede pumps