The Adopted Guy

I was browsing though the CL personals Ad’s and came across one that sounded really nice, and sincere so I figured why not! So I sent him an email saying hello and telling him a little bit about myself. He responded with a really nice message and a photo. He wasn’t ugly, but totally not my type at all. So instead of wasting anyone’s time, specifically mine, I decided to ignore his email and not reply. About a day later, he wrote me again asking if he scared me off with his photo or what he wrote to me. So I figured I should at least let him down easy this time. I told him that no, he didn’t scare me off, but that I simply didn’t think we were a match and left it at that. Then he replied insisting that I should give him a chance and that he really wanted to meet me and if he didn’t make me laugh then he would never bother me again. So I figured, FINE I will at least get a free dinner out of it. So I met him at Suba in the Lower East Side for dinner. He was waiting at the bar when I arrived and he looked exactly like his photo. Don’t get me wrong, its not that he wasn’t attractive, I just wasn’t attracted to him. So he told me the story about how he was adopted and was literally found on the street in Queens when he was 22 months old. His birth parents were both 16 and 5’5 and I guess they didn’t have any help. That was really sad but he ended up getting adopted by the couple that found him. He grew up in the West village with brothers and sisters of all different ethnicities. He had an amazing life story to tell the truth. So anyway, he promised that he would make me laugh but instead he ended up offending me a number of different times. For example, the restaurant was pretty loud so when he would say something and I couldn't hear him, I asked him to repeat himself, but instead of just repeating himself, he would imitate a retarded person with hand language and speak with a “retard voice” I gave a “look” each time he did that until finally I had to tell this loser about himself and explain how un-cool that was. He tried to explain himself and say how he was joking and trying to make me laugh, but that was the absolute wrong way to do it. And then he had the NERVE order champagne as if we were celebrating something. He was trying so hard, but failed miserably. So after dinner, which by the way wasn’t THAT good, I’d had enough and wanted to go home. He offered to walk me home, but I insisted that I wanted to walk alone. So I went home and later that night I checked my email ( or was it the next day I cant remember) and he sent me an email thanking me for coming out even though I didn’t want to and asked if we should see each other again. Sheesh this guy must be a glutton for disappointment or something. I told him that we could hang out again sure, but only as friends and told him to let me know if he was cool with that. I never heard from him again after that. Good riddens loser!

Wardrobe: who cares, cant remember