The Bald Lawyer

So I met this guy via CBD since it’s been a little slow for me and I’ve grown tired of many of my regulars. So we decide to meet at Aurora in Soho. I got there a few minutes before him and once he arrived we decided to go to Lola across the street because the Aurora bar area was full. So we sit down at Lola which is pretty chic…chicer than I expected actually. Anyway, I had a yummy dessert wine and he ordered a boring Stella. He was rather stout and completely bald at the tender age of only 29 years old. Lets get all the minuses out the way: Stout, lives in New Jersey, bad breath, boring dresser, owns a cat, doesn’t know how to drive, quasi gay mannerisms, unimpressive shoes, makes fun of celebrities to make himself feel better about himself..yes he actually admitted this, poor taste in music, elitist) Some pros were..hmmm carried conversation very well, walked me home. Anyway while we were at Lola there was a live performance that was so incredibly loud that we had to yell to speak to each other which sucked for me because that meant I had to smell his breath. During our yelling match a man behind me pointed at my new Marc Jacobs saddlebag and told me that wax fell onto it. There was a candelabra next to it and the melting wax had dripped onto it. At this point I got pissed and was ready to call it a night, but the bald lawyer suggested that we go somewhere else where we could have a conversation. So we ended up at Dos Caminos. We order guacamole to share and sangria. He had the white kind and I had the red, which I couldn’t even drink because it was just too strong for me. So we had a pleasant conversation where I found out all the things that I listed a while back..remember all those cons, and skim list of pros? So after we had some dessert which was pretty good. He explained how he didn’t understand or believe in vegetarian or vegan lifestyles (I’m a former vegan, and still a vegetarian) During the conversation I explained to him what I did for a living and he thought it was an exploitation of young girls..lol so obviously this guy is a complete winner! Anyway, I excuse myself to the bathroom after dessert and see that I had 4 missed calls. Instead of rejoining him right away, I stayed in the bathroom a bit longer to check voicemail (i.e. stalling to go back). So I get back and he took the liberty to inform me that he settled the check and also offered me the gracious option of pitching in! I was shocked that he had the balls to tell me that. I didn’t have cash so I offered my credit card. It was only then that he said that it was fine and not to worry about it. I’m not against paying my way, but never on a first date. That Is a firm rule, especially if the date sucked. I’m not saying that this date sucked but he definitely wasn’t my type..not even a little bit. Anyway, he ends up walking me home which sucked because I was planning to call the beautiful Asian back on the walk home. So once we reached my corner, I extended my hand to shake his and told him goodnight and sent his ass packing back to New Jersey.

Wardrobe: Black and white Victorian blouse, skinny jeans, grey pumps with black bow.